I have spent the week with my good friend Lynsey and her husband Nick. They were kind enough to open the their home to us and let us stay here and be near the hospital. I think Matt and Nick got along ok. I hope so, I like Nick. He's a good guy, and of course I love Matt. He's a good guy also. Nick's life has been touched by Cancer and I think he could offer a unique perspective to Matt and our sons on how to deal with this. At least let them know, they're not alone. Nick seems anxious to see the boys and I hope that he and Lynsey (and their beautiful daughter) can go to NASA with us. Today I am leaving Nick and Lynsey to go stay with family. I have many family members down here in the Houston area and many have gotten in touch with me and offered the homes to me and my family while I am receiving treatment. Again, the kindness and generosity that has poured upon my family has been so unexpected, but so appreciated. Without, the support of friends and family here, I think my receiving treatment at MDA would be cost prohibitive, just because of hotels alone. God truly is amazing! And, He has certainly seen my need and heaped his grace and bounty upon me.

Tuesday I have my F/U with Dr. Arun and see what she has to say about my current treatment or if I get to try new and exciting types of rat poison. I continue to follow the cancer fighting food diet Matt found for me, I get to meet with a nutritionist at MDA also. I'm looking forward to that as well. I've also spoken with some herbalists in the DFW area (all recommended by friends) and I'm interested in hearing what they have to say. Since most of our medications are plant based, and eastern medicine has recognized herbs for millennia, I think I should be open minded enough to listen, and possibly try.

Matt comes back down on Sunday and he's bringing the boys. I can't wait to see them. I've missed them so much. And I'll be much more at ease with Matt by my side.

As always, I wish all of my friends and family members the very best, I'm just now learning that THEY are the best. Thank you each and every person for the part you have played in helping my family and me. The scrapbooks are amazing, I've still only seen one, because it makes me cry. I can't even imagine the planning, time, effort, and love that went into those books. How do you say "Thank You", for something like that. Corrie, Kim, Toni... Thank you so much for driving the boys around and getting them to and from school, not to mention homework. Toni, thank you for just sitting at the table, doing nothing else, but homework. How can I possibly thank you three for the peace of mind you gave Matt and I while we made this trip. I love you all. Thank you, just doesn't seem adequate. But, I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

Ok, I know that I haven't posted in a while, honestly, I've been too sick. I'll spare you the details. Updates, my past Oncologist and I have had a parting of the ways, We carry different opinions about my care, and I long ago lost my reverence of anyone with MD behind their name. I've seen them puke over stupid stuff, reminds you that their just people. Anyway, Matt and I have travelled to MDA in Houston. Of course, looking for a miracle, and not finding one. The clinical trial I want to join is now closed, but phase 2 is coming up and I hope to be in that. Long story short, if there has been no disease progression since starting treatment good, I will continue on same meds and they might add one additional for bones...if their has been disease progression despite treatment, well, that falls under bad news and we move on to different drugs. Basically, my expected life span is about 3-10 years. Not what we wanted to hear. The only difference in this is I place my care, trust, and hope with man and the poisons they have created, but honestly believe that only God can heal me. It truly is in His hands, no matter what they make swallow. I pray, I pray every night for my sons, my husband, my friends, family and every single person who has offered me hope. Then I pray for the selfish person that I am, and that God knows I am, and ask him to heal me. Why I think I deserve His generosity over some other person, I haven't even stopped and asked myself. I simply pray for my healing, admit that I'm selfish, not likely to change and pray for His forgiveness. If I'm wrong, at this point I'm willing to be wrong and beg God's forgiveness and grace.