I haven't written much lately, I guess because I seem to rehash the same old whining. this week was a good one. I got out of the house and that made a huge difference in my attitude. I had lunch with my friend Connie. I know her from work. She took me out, fed me mexican food and offered alcohol. I miss work. Sounds weird, I know, but I do. I miss being so busy that I don;t have time to pee. Listening to someone tell me that they have a sore throat because they've been smoking crack for the last three days, and they just want something for the pain. I also, kinda miss, the people that come in with a sick kid, "and since we're all here we might as well check in and get checked over", all 9 of them. Mostly, I miss the stimulation. Doesn't take critical thinking skills to nap and change the channel on the tv. I'm slowly crawling out of the big, black, hole of depression. I no longer contemplate suicide. I sing along with the radio, and even smile every once in a while. I know that mentally, I'm still lost, but I'm finding a way, a path. I was supposed to be at the boys' Valentine's parties, and was looking forward to it, I was going to work this week... But, side effects from my medicine kept me away from both. Good news... after 2 days of basically not walking and staying in bed and taking pain pills, I can now put on shoes. Bad news... it took 2 days and I find that frustrating because that's 2 days of my life that I missed out on. I've begun stalking people on the phone, so don't be surprised if I have your number... I will call it. What can I say, I've never done boredom well.
Labs are still looking decent. My white cells are trending down, despite Neulasta. And this after only 2 treatments. I see this as an indicator that by the time I finish all 6 treatments, I may not have many white cells left. We'll see. Also, I finally got my chart down to M D Anderson Hospital in Houston. Now, I'm just waiting to see if I can get an appointment. Pray for, "YES". I'm really interested in talking to this Dr. She works specifically with BRCA gene positive patients, that are advanced stages or having a recurrence.
On a positive note, I was attacked by a squirrel this week. I have lived in Keller basically my whole life. I have lived in a house with a forest for a yard, my whole life. I have never had a close encouter of third kind with a squirrel before. I left the windows on my van partially down, as usual, and they stayed that way for a couple of hours. I got in my van, to go on an errand only to find that a squirrel had gotten in. The squirrel was running all over the van trying to get out, I was screaming and out of the van like a flash. I assure you, most of what came out of my mouth was not nice. If the neighbors heard, I'm pretty sure they will try to keep the kids away from the "crazy" lady next door. I quickly opened all the doors and went inside the house to hide from this fiendish monster until it was safe. So, If you look into my van a see a stick, I now carry one for safety from all the attacking wildlife.